Friday, 17 September 2010


Dear readers. I have come to a realisation about the world that we live in. A realisation which I have been fighting the truth of for quite a while. A realisation that saddens, and yet buoys me, at the same time. And that realisation is this: in order to get anywhere, to get to that lofty place of fortune and luxury, at some point, you will have to lie.

Now, the budding lawyers and tax evaders amongst you, along with everyone else probably, will not be particularly moved by this revelation. Some of you may even be guffawing even as you continue to read, at my apparent ignorance. But bear with me on this one. As a child and young adult too, the notion has been drummed into me that talent, intelligence and skill will get you everywhere. And I believed it whole heartedly. I was never particularly worried about making it, or making those ‘mills’ as a Mr 50 Cent (or someone of the like) might say. I always assumed I would eventually cash in on the smarts and talents that my grades and general feedback assured me of.

But wait. How is one supposed to make that first tenuous step to riches, power and glory when you’re currently too “inexperienced for that position. Sorry.” How are you supposed to gain all those skills and sweet golden nuggets of vital knowledge? How?! The answer / my latest realisation: lie.

It seems the only way. Now I’m a bright girl. I’ve got some positive attributes under my belt (didn’t mean that literally but take it as you will). And I’m sure I’d read great on paper (i.e. my CV) if under all of that I could list the reams of on the job experience that I’ve accumulated, you know, in between lectures and instead of sleeping! You can’t get a real job without experience, but in order to gain experience you need a real job. And what does this filthy catch - 22 teach us? Life’s a bitch, and the only way to win her over is to sweet talk her with as many lies as you can get away with. You heard it here first. And I expect a percentage when you start making those millions. Thanks very much.