Altogether now: “Happy Birthday pensivebuddha!!” And now
that you’ve got that out of the way, it was indeed my birthday on Monday, and
I am now a year older – since last year that is.
Birthdays are a funny thing. It’s as though you’re expected
to collect and distil together all of the experiences and lessons and trials
and victories that you’ve encountered over the past year, and try your best to
ingest and digest it all so that you can say that you’re older and wiser.
In actual fact, since my birthday, I feel it’s a lot more accurate
to say that I’m 3 days older, rather than a year. I have indeed had a truly
amazing year – the kind of year that I wouldn't have dared to hope for, this
time in 2010. I’ve learned masses, I’ve grown, I’ve improved. But that
definitely occurred on a day to day basis. One step at a time, one mistake at a
time, one tear after the next – its the natural progression of things. And it’s
the type of pace that suits me. Thinking in terms of years leaves so much room
to leave things out, and skim over details and blur the lines between each
event – seems a bit messy to me. Day by day – much more manageable. And no need
to put a year’s worth of pressure on myself to continue to learn and grow and
improve. One day’s worth of pressure – I’d be a limp-arsed female if I couldn’t handle
that!
So indeed, I am older. Lets hope it keeps getting better, day by day.
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