Altogether now: “Happy Birthday pensivebuddha!!” And now that you’ve got that out of the way, it was indeed my birthday on Monday, and I am now a year older – since last year that is.
Birthdays are a funny thing. It’s as though you’re expected to collect and distil together all of the experiences and lessons and trials and victories that you’ve encountered over the past year, and try your best to ingest and digest it all so that you can say that you’re older and wiser.
In actual fact, since my birthday, I feel it’s a lot more accurate to say that I’m 3 days older, rather than a year. I have indeed had a truly amazing year – the kind of year that I wouldn't have dared to hope for, this time in 2010. I’ve learned masses, I’ve grown, I’ve improved. But that definitely occurred on a day to day basis. One step at a time, one mistake at a time, one tear after the next – its the natural progression of things. And it’s the type of pace that suits me. Thinking in terms of years leaves so much room to leave things out, and skim over details and blur the lines between each event – seems a bit messy to me. Day by day – much more manageable. And no need to put a year’s worth of pressure on myself to continue to learn and grow and improve. One day’s worth of pressure – I’d be a limp-arsed female if I couldn’t handle that!
So indeed, I am older. Lets hope it keeps getting better, day by day.